Is That Your Dick or Is It a Cheeto?

My girlfriend Charlie was here tonight-studying and just hanging out. I turned on my phone to break up the monotony and because we really needed a good laugh after muddling through statistics all night! This ABSOLUTE IDIOT called us! He was telling us about what a tiny itty bitty baby dick he had and we were laughing and laughing. Charlie and I were making him measure his tiny little weewee while we laughed and yelled at him for having such an inferior package! I love the oppurtunity to brag about my Lover's GIGANTIC WHALE dick! It’s so enormous, the perfect size for Me!

I really honestly beleive that men with small dicks are just phasing out. What is that called, process of selection? It’s been so long since I’ve taken Bio but I remember learning all about vestibule organs (like pinky toes and appendixes) and pretty soon men with those little doll pricks are just going to either die out or their willies will shrivel up completely and be more like a second bellybutton. On second thought, I guess they will die out though, since they won’t be breeding (Thank God!). I take My work very seriously, and part of My responsibilty is to weed out those men that will reproduce and those who will not. I am making my most direct contribution to this natural selection by only breeding (if ever!) with a man with a very large dick. My secondary contribution is by beating and humiliating all you small dick mother fuckers and intimidating you into abstaining from breeding.

Oh yeah, in case I haven’t told you lately-you have bad genes. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON”T BREED!!!!!

I don’t even know why straight people have kids anyway. Every once in a while I get a hankering for some slippery man meat but 19 times outta a twenty I’ll take a nice hot wet cunt or a big rubber dick over any one made of flesh and blood. The few times any one of the cisgendered men I’ve slept with have accidentally gotten their jizz on MY beautiful skin (I’m allergic to man juice), I not only swelled up in a pinky puffy allergic reaction-they also received slaps accross the face in mid fuck. These are not men that like to be slapped around. I say “Who gives a fuck?”. If one of those meat headed Grecian God fools ever gets jizzm on this pretty bella DIVA again they’re “Blocked” forever.

Once I decided to sleep with this punk rocker. He sculputed amazing monsters and masks for horror movies, and he accidentally got some of his disgusting filthy man slime on Me and I slapped him accross the face and left him deserted in a hotel room. “FUCK THIS SHIT, YOU CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET HOME ON THE BUS!” I screamed at his nasty ass. I left him in Del Mar, 100 miles from LA. I think he was such a puss he got a taxi. How I’ve digressed!

So here is some DITA trivia: Dita Hates SEMEN. DITA DETESTS SEMEN. DITA’s Divine Body also knows SEMEN is INFERIOR to Girlie Cum which is why SHE is allergic to man cum and thrives on GIRLIE cum. And on a non-sexual note--DITA smokes Capri Ultra Light Cigarettes when she is excited or under stress!

Don't forget to click daily on the following links as your act of daily worship and devotion to the Divine Goddess Mistress Dita!!

1. Dickie Virgin's Top 100

2. Top Goddess

3. Serious Mistresses Top 100

4. Bitchyfemdom.com Toplist

5. AllStar Femdoms Toplist

6. Sister's of Sadism Toplist

Daily Worship and New BDSM Network

Don't forget to click daily on the following links as your act of daily worship and devotion to the Divine Goddess Mistress Dita!!

1. Dickie Virgin's Top 100

2. Top Goddess

3. Serious Mistresses Top 100

4. Bitchyfemdom.com Toplist

5. AllStar Femdoms Toplist

6. Sister's of Sadism Toplist

In addition, You can also find Me on this new BDSM network--it is sort of like a kinky myspace and it is very easy to join. I'll see you and your friends there!! When you sign up, leave Me a comment on My profile.:
BSDM Mistresses and Slaves Social Network

On another note, I have been looking through a lot of the Niteflirt.com listings and I decided that I was going to look through some of the "Sex" sections. I typically don't look there because My listings are more in the domination section. I noticed today that in many of the girls' feedback that many asshole males wrote comments such as, "The best slut on Niteflirt", etc. I noticed this over and over again. This is very perturbing to Me.

Not that I have anything against any of the Women taking the sex calls, but it is very disturbing to Me that these men actually write "sluts, etc in the listings. I know that they are offering sexual services, but the perverts calling in should at least give them a certain amount of respect that the Women are providing services to meet their needs. I also looked through the feedback on the section of dominant Females, and I couldn't find any comments where men had called them names. Interesting.I suppose that is why I am so drawn to the domination aspect of it all, because I choose to work with men who know their place and know just how to speak to and demonstrate respect for Females. I am the One in control, and I feel that when men are "allowed" to call and and get sexual gratification at the drop of a dime that they then are the ones controlling the show. Dominant Women decide if, when, and how men receive any pleasure. One of those assholes better not even attempt to call Me, because I'll whoop the misogynist for every disrespectful comment that he has ever left.

Assignments for Broke-Ass Servants

Some of you losers are whining that you are BROKE ass fools!! So I have a few assignments that you can do to keep yourself busy and show how loyal and obedient you are to the Goddess Mistress Dita. You must click on these links, and Me EVERY SINGLE DAY if you can find My website on the list!!  Click on EACH link!!

1. Dickie Virgin's Top 100

2. Top Goddess

3. Serious Mistresses Top 100

4. Bitchyfemdom.com Toplist

5.  AllStar Femdoms Toplist

6. Sister's of Sadism Toplist

Your Place is Under My Boot

All you little whores should be very "happy".

I am finally going to get a p.o. box so that you can start sending the gifts that you so desperately continue to offer Me. Up until this point I have chosen to deny any of your pitiful attempts to impress ME with goods (Good job LOSERPIGGY JOEY on My $100 Tribute, you know I deserve the world) since I don't want any of you disgusting little piggies to know where I live. That's all I need is to be hosting an anarchist working group meeting or a cool dinner party entertaining My hip, intelligent and fashionable friends when some lame ass LOSER slaveboy shows us at My door with a giant Valentine's Day card or something.

Haha, that reminds Me. To My sister Mistress Unconventional: Remember when that BIG UGLY TRUCKSTOP HOOKER HILLBILLY LOSER SISSY ANGELICA sent you that ridiculous gigantic truck stop card?? That was so funny!! I couldn't stop laughing at his pathetic attempt to impress you...it was even more fun using it as a firestarter on the deck of your beachhouse in Mexico!! I hate that little fuck!!

On an personal note, I've just begun school which means I am spending pretty much zero time on sets doing makeup. The writer's strike was a big wake up call and since I was pretty much the best and hardest working makeup artist on the planet, I've decided to take it easy. I've enrolled in college and am working on My degress in Women and Queer Studies. For all of you heteronormative idiots who don't know what that means, look it up on wikipedia idiots.

Today I had My WOMEN'S STUDIES class where we discussed the historical oppression of WOMEN and even touched a bit on FEMALE SUPREMACY! Of course I had plenty to say about that!!

I have also made another friends in English class; she is a fellow Chicana Revolutionary. Member of the Bus Rider's union and My comrade in the struggle for freedom of oppression. Not that any of you little fucks are actually oppressed. You're so sick and tired of your disgusting privileged white upper middle class lives that you need a real bitch of a Woman like Me to kick you in the nuts to remind you that you don't own the world and that WE Women will control everything one day.

YOU: Stupid, heteronormative, white, mid-to-upper middle class, track home living, taking up too much in the physical space that you occupy, speaking out of turn because you think that your opinion is more valid or more intelligent than everyone else's, trying to "help" a Woman who is "struggling" to do something mechanical or something that you think you know how to do better.

ME: Superintelligent, beautiful, empowered DIVA. Kicking the shit out of your pathetic white boys, in fact I'm kicking you right out of your heteronormative little world with a good slap in the face or fuck in the ass. That's right...I'm the one who reminds you of your place in the world--right here, safe and under MY boot.

That's it LOSERS.

Punk Ass Hillbilly Randy Returns

Hillbilly Randy called again last night and tried to disguise his voice as "Rachel" the Frenchmaid. Oh please. I whooped his ass over and over. He would cry, beg to get off the telephone.....and what do you know, fifteen minutes later he was calling back for some more humiliation. He'll be back.

Punk Ass Hillbilly Randy Beware

Don't call Me if you are missing teeth and can't spell your own name--you need to enroll in Headstart and put some teeth on layaway. Oh yeah, and if you are so drunk on Coor's Light that you sound like you are going to vomit at any moment...It's really not any fun to humiliate you at all...You do it simply by existing in this world.

It's like playing chess with a chimp-you just can't feel good about winning. When you are this pathetic I can't even talk to you, I don't care about the money, homeboy was giving Me a stomachache. Fuck bad comments or a low score....YOUR JOB IS TO ENTERTAIN ME. YOUR NEEDS COME SECOND IF THEY'RE CONSIDERED AT ALL. In fact, its' just boring writing this.

I'm not going to make fun of your ridiculous french maid outfit either dumb ass. This is 2008.

I am Gonna Steal Your Girlfriend

As much as I love little bitty titties and luscious pussy, I could just never have a Woman as My full-time slave. See boys, I am a lady lover and a loser leaver. I make Women shoot cum farther than you can hawk a loogey. That woman who's crying out fake orgasms while you feebly attempt to "please her"--that's your girlfriend, and the bitch screwing her in the back of your car is Me of course. That's right losers, I just love to break up your relationship. In fact Mistress Dita is responsible for two divorces. That's right assholes, I just love to turn out those bisexual femme dykes, those Women who are confused enough to actually be dating you (probably because you are such a pussy and they are confused)-those are the Women I love to fuck!!

You've probably already seen the signs-that new and fascinating girlfriend that she's always talking about...Yeah, that's Me!! I'm gonna snatch her (haha, pardon My pun) right up from underneath ya. Yeah, cause you probably fuck her missionary style, you disgusting pig. You probably attempt to lick her pussy with big sloppy dumb ass licks, you probably dive right for the clit and try to do tongue jumping jacks while her poor clit is beaten, recoiling from your offensive tongue.

Then she gets to My house where I begin to romance her, open the doors for her, compliment her outfit, help her close the buttons on her gaping dress....let My fingers brush up softly against her tits until her nipples harden....Yup, that's just about the moment that your girlfriend starts cheating on you,hahaha!!!

And you are so pathetic that you turn around and call My humiliation line just so that I can further embarrass you!! You'll never learn. In fact, I am sure that your girlfriend will be getting her cunt exorcised by My black strap on cock (My favorite cyberskin one that matches My boots) while you cry and suck your thumb while her phone goes straight to voicemail and you see that you can't even talk to Me because I'm not online!

Slave Application

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: It is the desire of Mistress Dita to provide a safe and anonymous environment for Her clients to explore Sado-Masochism, discipline, fetishism and Dominant/submissive activities.

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Disclaimer: It is also the responsibility of Her clients to accept personal liability for any and all participation in such activities, and agree to hold harmless and blameless Mistress Dita for any damage and/or loss or injury that may occurr while engaged in such mentioned activities.

PHONE ETIQUETTE: Just because you call a Mistress does not mean She will automatically accept you. It is up to you to PROVE TO HER that you are worth HER time- NOT the other way around. A Mistress speaks to hundreds of potential slaves, most of which get turned away, so you better make an impression if you want a chance to serve Her.

Know what you want to say to THE MISTRESS: This is akin to a job interview. If you're asked a question such as "What type of training do you want to explore?" don't say, "Uh, I dunno". Do you think that would impress a prospective employer? NO, and it won't impress Me either!! Come on, you have to have some idea of what you want after probably spending years jacking off to it. If you are embarrassed just get over it. THE MISTRESS has heard it all before.

A Mistress is NOT a phone sex operator unless SHE states so in HER ad. A Mistress is intelligent so don't try to masturbate while talking to Her. She is very perceptive and the next thing you'll hear is a dial tone.

Some Mistresses you may contact may sound cold and bored in the beginning of the conversation. This is a result of countless slaves wasting Her time and ignoring proper, common-sense etiquette. But, SHE may warm up to you provided that you are sincere.

Mistress Dita is Superior to you in many ways, but SHE cannot read your mind. If you want a session to be rewarding, then make sure you are specific about your needs and expectations

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When you contact the Mistress the first time She will ask you many questions.

KNOW THAT I AM A CRUEL BITCH

However, the first time that you call will be our "get to know you" phone call. This is when I will determine whether or not I wish to work with you. Remember that you need to earn the right to serve Me. I derive great pleasure from being served and need to ensure that I will enjoy working with the slaves that I choose. Remember that My desires always come first.